Sunrise
by Steven Miller
Summary: A parody of Twilight including characters from the Hunger Games.
1. Sunrise

Sunrise

Steven Miller

Part 1 of the Sunrise Trilogy

Jake awoke and got dressed.

"Man," he said, "no shirts! I guess I won't wear one."

Jake ran downstairs and ate a waffle. He ran outside to find Elle and Edwardo.

"Jake," Edwardo said, "I see you aren't wearing a shirt."

"Hey," Jake replied. "It's not my fault that my mommy won't do my laundry!" He started to cry. "Words hurt."

"Man," said Edwardo. "I didn't mean that. I think you look great the way you are."

"Really?"

"No."

Jake wiped his eyes.

"Okay," said Elle, "I'm going to go text my BFFs" They watched as she walked away.

"Go team Edwardo!" Edwardo yelled.

"Team Jake," said Jake.

"I'm a vampire, so I'll win."

"I have good abs," Jake stopped to admire them. "They are good! You have no idea how long I stay at the gym! I'm also a wolf and stuff."

"Well," said Edwardo, "you better be careful, because I bite."

"Really?"

"What?"

"That was really corny."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Dude," Jake said, "what's up with that?"

"I'm sorry," Edwardo said.

"I know," said Jake.

"Guys," said Elle, running towards them. Look at who I met!"

"Hi," said Peeta.

"His face is amazing! I'm going to faint!" Elle ran off with him.

"Oh," said Jake.

"Yeah," said Edwardo.

"Want to get a soda?" Jake asked.

"Yes," Edwardo replied.


	2. The Starving Games

The Starving Games

Steven Miller

Part 2 of the Sunrise Trilogy

Elle walked with Peeta. They entered a small room.

"Who's that?" Kittynes asked.

"A friend," said Peeta.

"Is she here to fight?"

"Yes. Where's Glimmer?"

"Glimmer went to Princess Sparkle Toe's Unicorn Palace to rescue Glitterpony."

"Oh, right," said Peeta.

"Who is your friend?"

"Elle."

"She's going to help fight."

"What fight?" asked Elle. "Are bad vampires after us?"

"No," said Kittynes. "The Starving Games."

"What?"

"It's this fight to the death."

"Why is it called that?"

"Whoever named it was really hungry at the time."

"Oh."

Glimmer ran into the room with Glitterpony.

"Help!" Glimmer screamed, "The Sparkle Fairies are after us!"

Kittynes took out a bow and arrow.

Edwardo stepped into the room.

"Help," yelled Glimmer, "he's all sparkly and shiny!"

Jake ran in. He was actually wearing a shirt. Elle was amazed. Kittynes shot an arrow. It hit Jake's shirt. He pulled it off.

"That's better. " Elle said. "For a second there, I didn't recognize you."

"Resist Peeta's face!" Jake yelled.

"I can't!" Elle yelled. "It's so amazing!"

For some reason, a black hole opened on the ground, sucking them in and creating a tense action scene. Kittynes shot arrows at Jake and Edwardo.

"Help!" Jake and Edwardo yelled.

Peeta flew towards the black hole. "Help!"

Elle went towards Jake and Edwardo.

"No!" Peeta yelled. The black hole closed as he fell in.

Kittynes was outnumbered.

"Baby!" yelled Justin Bieber. "I'll save you!" A dark cloud of death and torment swirled around him.

"No!" Edwardo yelled.

"No!" Jake yelled.

"No!" Elle yelled.

"No!" Kittynes yelled. "Make the torture stop!"

The black hole reopened and Justin Bieber and Kittynes flew in. It closed, leaving Jake, Edwardo, Glimmer, Glitterpony, and Elle in the middle of the Starving Games.


	3. Breaking Morning

Breaking Morning

Steven Miller

Part 3 of the Sunrise Trilogy

Jake, Edwardo, Elle, Glimmer, and Glitterpony stood on a large battle field. They were in the Starving Games.

"Now what?" asked Elle.

"I guess we kill each other," said Edwardo.

A police officer ran towards them.

"Where's Justin Bieber?" he asked.

"He's dead," said Jake.

"I expected so. He had his new car for ten minutes, so I figured he had driven off a cliff by now."

"I think the car is over there."

"Is it in one piece?"

"No." said Jake.

"Oh well. The streets are safer now."

Glimmer and Glitterpony walked off with the cop.

"Elle," said Jake.

"What?" asked Elle.

"I want you to be my wife."

"Hey!" Edwardo yelled. "I had this scene planned where I propose and then we stare at each other for, like, twenty minutes or something!"

"Wow," said Elle, "I don't know who to choose."

"I won't take the chance of losing," Jake said. He turned into a wolf and ate Edwardo. Jake returned to his human form.

"How could you?" Elle screamed. "You're as bad as Justin Bieber's songs!"

"Take it back!" Jake yelled.

"No!"

"Then I'll eat you!"

"Then I'll hide in my home!"

"Then I'll huff and puff and blow your house down!"

"There's only one way to settle this," Elle said.

"You're right," Jake said, "time for an eating contest."

"No."

"What?"

"We must call on a supreme power!"

Chuck Norris appeared in front of them. They kneeled before him.

"Hi," said Chuck Norris.

"Wow," said Jake, "even Google won't find Chuck Norris."

"Dude," Chuck Norris said. "I'm just an actor that knows how to fight. I'm not some mutant ninja master. Stop saying all that crazy stuff about me."

"Chuck Norris," Elle said, "We need you to help settle a fight."

"Fine. How can I help?"

"Kill Jake."

"No."

"Why?" Elle asked.

"Because I don't kill people, I Chuck Norris them."

A bright ball of awesomeness shook the entire field. When the smoke disappeared, Chuck Norris and Jake were gone.

"Wow," said Elle, "I guess I'm going back to eHarmony, and not the monster edition this time."

The End


End file.
